Saturday, September 13, 2003

Liberal Guilt At The Local School Board

Here in Marin County, residents of the Dixie School District are not ready to fight the Civil War again, but some of them are up in arms about the school district's name. Some politically correct, Guilty Liberals want to change it. The folowing excert is from a Marin Independent Journal report by Nancy Isles Nation entitled: Effort to Change Dixie School District's Name Re-Kindled.

"District Superintendent Thomas Lohwasser was recently presented with a petition signed by 23 residents who want the name changed to the Miller Creek Elementary School District.

"Rod Gould, who said he signed the petition as a parent and resident of northern San Rafael -- not as the City Manager of San Rafael, which he is -- said he has a problem with the Dixie name.

''I have always been confused and embarrassed by the school district's name,'' Gould said. ''I think most people immediately associate it with the Confederacy and as a stain on the American soul.''

"To Gould, and to those who complained in 1997, Dixie is a Confederate anthem that conjures images of the slave era, racism and the Ku Klux Klan.

''Why would we name a school district after those things?'' Gould said. ''To me, it's time that it be addressed.''

I sent the Marin I.J., Mr. Lohwasser, Mr. Gould, and The Dixie School Board this message:

Dear Dixiecrats,

"I will be at the board meeting with a further demand. The school district MUST at once discontinue the support of Dixie Cups.

"Having our children unwittingly promoting slave trade and white male brutality is beyond acceptability. If these children chose to continue supporting this product, I suggest they be expelled, but tethered to the school's flagpole each day to remind others that hate has no place in disposable picnic paperware.

"To redress the unforgivable offenses that occurred a century and a half ago, a mere 2,000 miles from our doorstep, by people who have been dead longer than we have been alive and had the audacity to name their region Dixie, I propose renaming the district "We're Awfully Sorry, My God, We're So Sorry" School District. That should help imagined self-esteem to rise high enough to level the playground.

"Those wicked cups must be renamed "African-American Pride Cups" to promote a sense of ownership and equality. Further, the Country Western spewing Dixie Chicks should be furthermore referred to as the Hateful Enslaver Chicks and forced to sing apologetic dirges - which may require a much-needed stretch on their part.

"I also find the name "San Rafael Human Rights Commission" disturbing and degrading. At each reading it reminds me that Liberal Guilt needs no accuser, and that knee-jerk reactions no longer require a stimulus. How about a more honest `San Rafael Looking For Anything To Justify Our Phony Baloney Jobs Commission.'

"As for Patrick Webb's suggestion of "Santa Margarita School District," Saint Margaret was accused of being a Christian by a Roman prefect who tried to burn her, then boiled her in a large cauldron. According to the legend, each time she was tortured her prayers kept her unharmed. She was finally martyred by beheading.

"While this sort of gruesome imagery may be Mr. Webb's valiant attempt to "scare our children to embrace Christ," I believe a more timely "patron saint" might prove to be more effective.

"I'd gladly promote and vote for a name change to, "The Reginald Denny School District.

Yours in diversity,

Martin Higgins"

Friday, September 12, 2003

A Black Eye For The Straight Guy

I've read several articles about "Queer Eye" being an example of "Relationship Reality TV" (as opposed to Crime, Disaster, Contest or Deception reality) a proof that audiences are fascinated by social interaction rituals when depicted under duress or in extremis. (Someone should send the Loud family and Alan Raymond a 30th anniversary card)

A few years ago, I developed interactive products and programming at Microsoft, then Red Sky (SF). My area of interest was inducing a state of unconscious participation with an online users quickly. The ideal offering would satisfy the left brain that participation was valuable and simultaneously intrigue the right brain with entertainment.

"Queer Eye" starts with this proposition and then extends it with relentless passion. Every detail of the subjects life is under scrutiny and the remedies offered are couched in a continuous stream of condescension and disparagement. This is cotton-candy to America: we love sarcasm. The fact that we learn what shirt goes with which pants is all the value wee need to justify the victim's humiliation. To borrow a Queer term: it's outrageous!

Do you think Cable would take the next logical step in depicting this sort of status inversion?

"My Gay Brother-In-Law" - We follow the adventures of a heterosexual 30-something Dad who invites his homosexual brother-in-law to a series of "macho-guy" events: a poker game, deep-sea fishing, a NASCAR race, a bachelor party. The other straight guys tease the gay brother-in-law unmercifully and try to "fix him up" with every guy they meet. The "value" would be learning more about games, sports and male bonding rituals.

Sounds like a knee-jerk spin-off, but my experience as a television producer revealed that it is an industry full of knees and jerks.

Then again, perhaps it's too outrageous.