How to Keep Your Teeth

I freely admit that I was, in my post `Nam years, a heavy drinker and occasional bar brawler. Along with the scars, I learned more about battle in these melees than I did with II Field Force, RVN. It was a “hot zone” environment where you either learned quick or took a brutal beating.

First let me assert that we are most assuredly in a bar brawl with terrorists - no rules, no time limit, hit first and do your worst. Yes, it's stupid and illogical, and I wish there was another alternative, but Brawl Observation #1 comes into play:

ONCE THE FIRST STRIKE IS MADE, THE ONLY OBJECT IS SURVIVAL

Bush? Fool. Kerry? Fool - both drunk on ego and power, full of taunts and tough talk, but it's enough to get by because neither of them will have to face the enemy. And that enemy might be a janitor who has cached weapons or explosives in a school in preparation to "make our hearts bleed", a woman with a Coke can full of Anthrax riding the roller coaster in the Great Mall of America and dusting the air, or a boy with an AK in the back of a pickup during morning traffic on any highway, effectively closing the thoroughfare for weeks or months.

I don't care about the religion aspect. Good Muslims, lapsed Catholics, drunk Episcopalians and High-on-Zion Jews can all turn a human into a target with the right motivation. Besides, religion isn't our problem here.

It's pre-emption. A nasty word to nonviolent types who dream that even the most hardened heart can be turned with kind words and apologies. People who believe this stand out after a bar brawl, and are readily recognizable by missing teeth, blinded eyes or more severe mutilations.

The Fight Scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid comes to mind. Butch is confronted by Harvey, a member of his gang.
Harvey: Guns or knives?
Butch: Neither.
Harvey: Pick.
Butch: I don't wanna shoot with ya, Harvey.
Harvey: (pulling out a large Bowie knife) Anything you say, Butch.
Butch (whispering to Sundance): Maybe there's a way to make a profit in this? Bet on Logan.
Sundance: I would, but who'd bet on you?
Harvey: Sundance! When we're done and he's dead, you're welcome to stay.
Butch(to Sundance): Listen, I don't mean to be a sore loser, but uh, when it's done and I'm dead, kill him!
Sundance: Love to. (He gives a disarming smile and wave toward Harvey)
Butch, using a ruse, walks toward Harvey who is already in a knife-wielding stance, and asks that they first work out the rules:
Buth: No, no, not yet, not until me and Harvey get the rules straightened out.
Harvey: Rules - in a knife fight?
Butch swiftly kicks him in his crotch, and punches him with a full double fist to the face.
Butch: Okay, no rules.
End of fight.

Brawl Observation #2: NO RULES

Knowing full well that only the most demoralizing assault will stop your adversary, choose the most unorthodox attack you can muster: keep your back to a wall or trusted friends, use diversions, improvise weapons, hit physiologically devastating targets, change tactics quickly, maintain a steady barrage of strikes and keep one eye on the door if things start going south.

Definite first-strike advantage, which gives the opponent a brief pause while you set-up a second, different strike. In cutting edge military tactics, this approach is know as swarming, and will become the SOP for future engagements with militias and terrorist groups.

Don’t ignore the mental battle that rages simultaneously. A couple of knocked out front teeth may take the wind out of an opponent and yield a strategic advantage, but remaining calm and focused while delivering your assault is far more devastating to his assessment of “How am I doing and how much more of this can I take.”

Assessing how well YOU are doing takes us to Brawl Observation # 3

IT’S NOT OVER UNTIL THE OPPONENT IS UNCONSCIOUS, ON HIS WAY TO A HOSPITAL, OR FLEEING FOR HIS LIFE.

No begging, negotiations or compromises during the brawl. The only option for the opponent is to either win or escape and hide. Yes, there may be another battle another day, but the concept of cease-fire or truce is out of the question until unquestioned authority has been established – and that does not happen while both are standing.

(The very idea that Moktada Al Sadr is still breathing is an utter contravention of common sense. Then politicians have neutered our military response and assured a long and powerful spew from this punk. In keeping with Rule #2, the mosque he was hiding in should have been leveled and burned to a cinder. If other mosque members want to protect their structures, they’ll have to keep armed guards at the doors to keep out the terrorists – to wit, make it THEIR problem, not OURS. In bar brawl terms - Get some bouncers...)

Finally, the emotional upset of the fight itself will motivate others in the crowd to act. Brawl Observation #4:

WHILE THE BRAWL IS IN PROGRESS, YOU CANNOT TRUST YOUR FRIENDS TO DO THE RIGHT THING

I’ve seen people try to help by separating the combatants, only to give a devastatingly unfair advantage to their friend’s opponent. It’s a full-focus challenge to guard yourself during the fight without having the chaos spread and losing your “back.”

So, who will win in the Global Brawl that started three years ago? Well, going to the United Nations to ask for help is like asking the bartender to call the police. We’ll be dead before we hear the sirens. Asking France and Germany to help is splitting our focus from the dozen or so countries that support terrorist actions against us.

In fact, France and Germany will probably be Islamic states before the end of this decade. At that point, the beard, veil and Koran with be easier for Caucasian Europeans to embrace than inevitable bombings, hostage beheadings and Shahriah-decreed stonings that will become commonplace in their Renaissance piazzas.

Kiss the E.U. goodbye. The Moors are back.

And it's a brawl from here on out.